Changes
by calladragon
Summary: Post Bluebird/Season Seven. Rating may change.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I'm still around and I still intend to finish the unfinished stories before I'm done. Unfortunately, RL (a.k.a. stress and working full time) has done a real number on my abilities to write ANYTHING over the past four or five months. In fact, up to a couple of days ago I wasn't sure I hadn't given up writing for good. The desire just wasn't there anymore. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I suddenly found the words flowing and I'm feeling like my old self again. We'll see what happens.

What I do know, is From This Point On is getting some major rewriting on the last chapter or two since it needs to go in a different direction which I'll eventually do when I get the changes worked out in my head.

In closing, sincerest thanks to all of you who've recently PM'd, reviewed, and favorited my works even though I've been seriously AWOL for months. Your actions have meant more than you know. ~Calla

#

Plopping down on her couch in her usual unladylike fashion, Lisbon took a healthy slug of wine. Jane would rag her for starting without him; but, he could go stuff himself. She'd had a rough day. One that wasn't getting any better considering her boyfriend had the audacity to add insult to injury by being late…Oh, yeah, Patrick had definitely been a _boy_ today…And a royal pain in her rear…She'd used much stronger language earlier today when she'd finally let him have it one on one in the privacy of a storage closet.

He, on the other hand, had acted like an overprotective ass in public and jeopardized everything they worked so hard to keep hidden.

She'd eventually reminded him yet again she was law enforcement in spite of his occasional wish it was otherwise. Getting hurt came with the territory. He'd agreed even if he hadn't been happy about it. To his credit, it wasn't so much she'd gotten shot that had Jane pissed. He knew their work was dangerous. It was that one of their own had harmed her. _That_ was the part getting his dander up. Especially given it was a seasoned Agent, not a Rookie, breaking from the plan.

The up side to the situation was she hadn't gotten seriously hurt. Just a through and through requiring a little TLC at the ER and a much too large Super Hero bandage slapped against her skin by a much too flirty male nurse. The up side was the pain wasn't that bad. Not considering it could have been much worse. The down side was a riled Jane on her plate when she wasn't in the mood to handle him.

However, she'd take being in her shoes to being in Rickers' any day.

If she didn't miss her guess, the veteran Agent had had to deal with an irate Jane in his face followed soon after by an equally unreasonable Abbott. Things had probably gotten nasty pretty quick culminating in a black mark in his file that would take a while to erase. Summing things up, the other Agent could kiss that promotion he'd been rapidly brown nosing his way to good bye. It wasn't happening any time soon. While she was sure Rickers would eventually redeem himself in spite of the stupidity of shooting a fellow agent, it would take a while to get back in the good graces of his higher ups.

As for her, while she wouldn't want to work with Ricky any time soon, crap happened even when it shouldn't.

Taking another pull from her glass, Lisbon decided she'd rather have a few of sips of wine over a pain pill any day. For one thing, her thoughts were that much clearer. For another, it was taking the edge off her anger. She wasn't regretting giving Jane that key to her place half as much as she had been a short while ago. Setting her glass aside, Lisbon settled back and closed her eyes. She was fried and Jane wasn't anywhere in sight. She might as well take a nap until he decided to show.

It beat the heck out of staring at that dark spot on her ceiling she was positive had just sprouted legs and hopped an inch….

Dropping several bags on the countertop to be unloaded later, Jane made his way to the den. It was just as he'd expected. Lisbon's body had finally given out from excitement and pain. She certainly hadn't passed out from booze. There was probably less than four ounces missing from the opened bottle in the kitchen and most of that was still in her glass. Silently sitting on the coffee table, Jane reached out to softly brush a tendril from Lisbon's cheek before swooping in to brush his lips against hers.

"You're late." Lisbon blinked a couple of times like a startled squirrel. "I guess I should be glad you're here at all."

"I am." Jane leaned in for a better kiss. "You should be." He nuzzled her cheek in apology. "Since Abbott caught me on the way out."

"New case?" Lisbon asked. "Or idle chit chat?"

A credible Lisbon snort greeted her ridiculous words.

"Abbott doesn't chit chat." Jane reminded her. "He innocuously probes in ways that aren't so innocuous. You know that."

"What else is new?" Lisbon rolled her eyes lamenting her Boss's impeccable timing. "He has a knack for interfering at the worst possible moment."

"Yes, he does." Jane agreed. "Fortunately it wasn't a new case so we don't have to change our plans…just Dennis nosing about where he shouldn't."

"And letting you know he knows about us in that roundabout way he has." He did the same thing with her. "Or he thinks he does."

"He knows." Jane agreed. "He's just playing along until we're ready to out ourselves or circumstances do it for us. Whichever comes first. Cho knows as well and he's ignoring it."

"Cho can ignore anything." Lisbon agreed. "He got a lot of practice with Rigsby and Van Pelt."

"That he did." Jane agreed. "I like to think we're being more circumspect."

In spite of his penchant for extravagant gestures that involved impromptu picnics and long drives in vintage cars. Truthfully, no one had batted an eyelash as they'd ridden off into the sunset that day. Why would they? His reputation preceded him. He was known for his over-the-top showmanship and unexpected indulgences hinting at a fatter pocketbook than anyone could prove he had. If Jane suddenly decided to take an expensive car for a spin it made sense he'd take his handler and best friend along for the ride. It wasn't like he was seeing anyone at the moment though it wasn't for lack of trying on the part of numerous red blooded females inhabiting his universe….

"We're trying." Lisbon agreed. "I don't know what else we can do."

Except keep Jane's mouth under control in those rare moments when some barbarian disrespected her. Then again, that wasn't a big deal either. He'd reacted almost as strongly to other people disrespecting her as he'd reacted to perps threatening her life for a few years now. It wasn't a secret he'd gone so far as to off several threats in the heat of the moment. As for his actions with Rickers, that was to be expected. Any Agent would go off on another Agent who did something as asinine as mistakenly shooting their partner!

All in all, Lisbon thought they were doing a fair job of keeping their change in status off the radar. Not that there was much to bleep if they weren't. They'd admitted they loved each other, spent most of their free time together, and exchanged a few heated kisses. All in all, their love affair was pretty pedestrian and she wouldn't change a thing. It had taken them years to get to this point and would take more than a few weeks to get to the next.

In the big scheme of things, a few months wasn't all that long at all.

"Not a thing." Lisbon smiled as he swooped in to give her a real kiss. "Besides, I handled Abbott as I always do."

"Right." Lisbon shook her head. "We both know what that means."

He'd spouted off some evasive answer not betraying a thing and made his getaway…Classic Jane.

"I guess we do." Jane agreed. "It's good to be home."

"Yeah?" Lisbon smirked at his words. "I thought your home was a tin sardine can?"

"Not hardly." Jane wrapped his arms around her. "Not tonight."

"No?"

"No." Jane agreed. "Home is where you are."

It had been for years even when he had no hopes it would ever come to this.

It still was. Even when he wasn't quite sure what he had to offer or if he'd want to if he knew. No, that wasn't quite right either…He knew what he wanted…Had wanted for years…He just wasn't sure when, or if, he'd ever be ready to offer it…Then again, there were other times when he felt like the offering wasn't that far off because things were starting to feel too real for things to be otherwise….

Real enough he'd clip his wings to keep Lisbon by his side. Real enough to admit, now the job was more than the means to an end, he actually enjoyed their work. Real enough he'd accepted they could never truly up and leave as he sometimes fantasized about doing. That wouldn't work for so many reasons. The most important, he couldn't take the cop out of Lisbon any more than she could take the carney out of him. Then there was the matter of that certain troublesome disc Abbott still held over his head. If that wasn't enough, while they hadn't heard a peep in months, the Blake Association was still out there biding their time awaiting the perfect moment to strike. When that time came, he didn't want to be without certain resources. That wouldn't be wise. He wasn't sure he could keep Lisbon safe if it was the two of them.

What he was sure of in the midst of all the confusion was the monsters hiding under the bed didn't suddenly disappear just because you knew they were there.

Shaking his head at exchanging one unpleasant thought for another Jane admitted, long before he'd uttered those three fateful words, he'd accepted he and Lisbon were from two disparate universes that were never meant to merge…Yet, they'd done just that thanks to some sneaky twists of fate and emotional entanglement neither of them saw coming…And, strangely enough, it was working…Their life might not be easy; but, they'd make it in the end.

He knew they would.

He wouldn't have confessed his feelings if he believed otherwise.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you for the reviews, kind words, and encouragement. Sorry for the lack of personal responses. I'll get back to that when I'm feeling better. For the past week I've been fighting off a nasty bug and working full time. Today was my first day off in six days so I'm spending my down time in bed as I should be. Not writing or going to the gym as I want to be which really stinks!

The game plan for this story is one to two updates a week until it's done. I don't plan on working on anything else unless it's one of my novels. I do plan on picking up my other stories when I get back in the swing of things. ~Calla

#

Pretending to watch Jane unloading the groceries from her perch on the kitchen counter, Lisbon allowed her thoughts to wander over the weeks since their return from Islamorada.

Or she did until Jane's sneakiness caught her eye.

"Hey, that doesn't go there." She firmly stated ignoring Jane's indelicate snort conveying the peanut gallery should remain silent when other people were doing all the work. "Don't make rude noises at me and don't try to rearrange my cabinets. I don't do that crap at your place so don't do it at mine. It's hard enough to keep things straight as it is."

Over the past few weeks Jane had already reorganized her spice cabinet so she couldn't find a thing. If he wasn't such a great cook, she'd have kicked him out a long time ago. Unfortunately, her tummy said a perfectly cooked steak outweighed the few extra minutes it took to find her Cinnamon any day.

Turning back to less pleasant thoughts than a home cooked meal, Lisbon decided to let Jane be. It wasn't like she couldn't put things back after he left…Maybe not right away and not with a bum arm…But, eventually… It wasn't like she'd be cooking any time soon anyway. That was Jane's job for as long as he wanted it. Actually, they normally cooked together so it really didn't matter if she knew where her spices were as long as one of them did. She just resented the hell out of his high handed manner when it came to her personal space.

Then again, she made herself equally at home at his place in less intrusive ways.

Watching Jane grab another wine glass from the cabinet, Lisbon studied the faint play of muscle beneath his shirt. He looked more right in her kitchen and her life than Pike ever had…Probably because he was…She never doubted that regardless of the uncomfortable moments still popping up every now and then.

Fortunately, those moments were growing fewer and farther between with each passing day.

For the most part, their relationship was smooth sailing even if the only thing they'd firmly realized they didn't know what the future held beyond just being together. They certainly weren't expecting the white picket fence scenario Pike had offered her. Lisbon wasn't even sure she wanted it. While she adored Maddie on those rare occasions she got to see her, the idea of having screaming rug rats bouncing Sippy cups off the walls of her own was a different matter and Jane… Well, Jane was still skittish about certain things and that was one of them.

While he would never deny she was his everything, Jane hadn't been ready to go where she'd forced him to go when she'd forced him to go there. Saying those three little words were the last thing he'd wanted to do when he didn't have a plan in place. However, he'd had no choice but to lay it all on the line: his heart, his soul, the very essence of his being. Anything less would have forfeited the game.

Lisbon would have married Marcus and never looked back.

But, Jane had surprised her by stepping up to the plate and she'd reacted accordingly. To his credit, the man was handling their unfolding relationship and the haphazard way it came into being better than she expected. With hindsight it wasn't all that shocking really. He'd gotten fairly good at rolling with the punches over the Red John years. It seemed Jane could handle anything as long as she was by his side. As much as it pained her to admit it, Lisbon realized she felt the same. She had for a great many years.

However, what had truly surprised her was how easily that ring slid off his finger the very first time on Islamorada. She hadn't expected that at all. It felt almost like he'd been contemplating doing it for a while. Truthfully, he probably had. She just hadn't been privy to his inner turmoil. Anyways, it meant a lot he'd done that for her…For them…That he didn't want to tarnish their future with reminders of his past.

Not sure he could ever do it; she was overwhelmed he had.

That being said, those special moments didn't mean the ring wasn't on his finger at work and around other people. Or that he didn't still wear it a lot when they were together. He did. Just not usually at her place when they were alone together. Sometimes they both just forgot it was there. It wasn't like Jane sans ring wasn't the anomaly. That the band came off at all and at Jane's instigation was a step in the right direction.

Watching Jane disappear around the corner, Lisbon wondered briefly where he was going only to smile when he suddenly reappeared with her wine glass in hand. She should have known that one. He wouldn't have taken a glass down if he didn't intend to join her.

"You've been lost in thought long enough." He gently reprimanded as he pressed her glass in her hand and a kiss to her brow. "We've survived a run in with Marcus, a jail break, and Erica Flynn. I don't think there's anything left to concern you."

Raising an eyebrow, Lisbon left the elephants in the room unstated. They both knew there were plenty of things to concern them. However, out of respect for the long day they'd had, neither of them was all that willing to open doors better left closed for now. They'd deal with evils lurking in the shadows later.

"Maybe not." Lisbon agreed taking a sip of wine. "So, what's for dinner?"

"What do you want?" Jane leaned against the counter.

"Chips and a sandwich." Lisbon admitted.

"You mean one of these?" Jane pulled two wrapped sandwiches from the unheated oven before opening the cabinet to grab a bag of chips.

"Seriously?" Lisbon frowned at him. "You couldn't guess your birthday present but you know I want a sandwich for dinner?"

She was more disturbed Jane was up to something and she hadn't noticed than she was anything else. Some FBI Agent she was if she didn't even notice her boyfriend hiding potato chips in the cabinet and her favorite Sub in the oven.

"Some things I'm not meant to know." Jane said solemnly. "And some things will never change. You always want a sandwich and greasy chips when you get hurt. Even Rigsby knew that."

Rolling her eyes at the undeniable truth to his statement, Lisbon refused to acknowledge he was right.

"That better have all the yard clippings." Jane knew she meant jalapenos. "Or we're done."

"What do you think?" He asked. "I brought you extra if you want them." He nodded to the small container on the counter. "Who knew you liked so much heat."

"I wouldn't have kept you around if I didn't." Lisbon chided him. "My butt was on the hot seat the whole time we worked for the CBI."

"Yes, it was." Jane set her plate on the counter by her side. "And I've apologized for that."

"Yes, you did, and I accepted." Lisbon leaned in to give him a kiss. "Time and again."

Kissing the tip of her nose, Jane stepped back to give her a very serious look. If he apologized again, she'd bop him. It was as simple as that. While he regretted her getting caught in the cross fire and all the times she'd gotten hurt physically, professionally, and emotionally over the years, he didn't regret his machinations. Jane didn't regret being Jane and she didn't begrudge him that reality. They wouldn't have caught Red John without him.

More importantly, they wouldn't be together like this.

"You're a good man." Lisbon said quietly snagging a chip from her plate.

"Hardly good." Jane pierced her eyes with him. "But, hopefully, getting better."

"I'd say so." She wasn't arguing with him.

"Teresa, what has you so pensive?" He knew it wasn't the events of the day. "It isn't getting shot. I know that. You've gotten injured much worse in the past."

"I suppose it isn't." Lisbon agreed. "The pain isn't even that bad."

"That's good to know." Jane agreed. "So, if it isn't any of today's foolishness that has you lost in thought, it must be us. Surely you aren't worried about our relationship or any repercussions from the conversation I had with Rickers." The one she wouldn't have liked where he'd promised to rip the dumb assed Feeb's head off and hand it to him if he ever did anything so unforgivably stupid again. "I can assure you there won't be any."

Abbot's conversation had been much worse.

"That conversation may have ruined everything." Lisbon reminded him. "The only saving grace is you'd done this kind of thing several times before Islamorada so, no, I'm not really worried about any repercussions. That doesn't mean I'm happy with you or your actions. You're going to have to keep a better lid on it if you don't want to out us before we're ready."

"Does it really matter?" Jane asked quietly. "We're going to be outted one day anyway."

"I thought you wanted to keep us a secret." Lisbon fiddled with her sandwich.

"I know you want to." Jane gently reminded her. "I don't really care one way or the other. But, I also know how much you value your privacy."

He didn't have to add the "especially now" since they both knew why.

Her relationship with Marcus had played out publically from start to finish. The man hadn't been willing to have it any other way. They weren't breaking the rules so there wasn't any reason to hide. While Lisbon had wanted to be more discrete, she'd gone along with Pike's wishes as she'd done from the start. While they didn't ram their togetherness in their co-workers' faces, it wasn't a secret they were dating.

Her relationship with Jane was very different.

For one thing, he respected her desire for discretion. Not only because neither of them wanted to add fuel to the flames already simmering from her very public breakup with Pike. More because he knew she preferred it that way. Her private life wasn't anyone's business. Lisbon had always been that way. They weren't breaking any rules by being together either.

Yes, they worked together. But, they weren't both Agents so any rules out there didn't exactly apply. Or rather no one wanted to go through the trouble of trying to make them stick. Their unique, near legendary, relationship and remarkable solve rate gave them a strange kind of quasi-immunity to the house rules Lisbon didn't quite understand. Nor did she want to.

As long as she and Jane were left in peace, she wasn't about to question it.

"You're right about that; but, wrong about what I was thinking." Lisbon corrected him surprised there were two things in a row he didn't know if she counted his birthday present. "You seem off your game."

"Or you're getting better at keeping secrets." Jane indulged knowing exactly what she was thinking.

"Maybe I am." Lisbon agreed taking a bite of her sandwich. "Or maybe you're toying with me."

"Maybe I am." Jane agreed. "What do you say to moving this feast to the couch? I'd feel kind of foolish hunched up on your kitchen counter."

"You'd look kind of foolish, too." Lisbon agreed imagining him just as he said and deciding he was very right. "You take the plates and I'll bring the glasses."

Nodding his compliance, Jane lifted her from the cabinet and grabbed their plates. Ignoring the soft hiss behind him, he headed for the den. As much as he wanted to tell Lisbon to leave the wine, he didn't. She was a big girl. If she wanted to carry their glasses in spite of the pain it caused her, who was he to stop her? Settling comfortably into the couch, he watched Lisbon do the same before opening his mouth.

"Stop worrying about every little thing." Jane said quietly. "We're doing okay. There isn't a handbook telling how to make a relationship work or how long it should take to reach each stage. That depends on the couple. All that matters is we're happy and I think we are. I know I am."

"Me, too." Lisbon leaned against her side of the couch. "I'm just not sure…This feels so different from my relationship with Marcus."

"That's because Pike herded you in the direction he wanted to go and you let him." Jane stated bluntly. "We aren't doing that. I'm not Marcus and I'm not rushing either of us. However we end up, it'll be because we both want to go there. Why do you think I keep making so many suggestions?"

"Because you like annoying me and I wish you'd stop." Lisbon quipped. "If I ever want to leave Law Enforcement you'll be the first to know."

"I'm sure I will." Jane accepted her at her word. "Teresa, just because I don't have our future mapped out the way Pike did doesn't mean we don't have one. We do. We're still figuring it out and there's nothing wrong with that."

While they'd been together a long time, they only been _together_ a few short weeks. She needed to remember that.

"I guess there isn't." Lisbon wasn't sure she agreed with his observation. "But, since you've done all of this before, shouldn't you have some idea where we're going?"

"Maybe." Jane agreed. "But that was almost twenty years ago and my life was different back then. The hardest thing Angela and I had to decide was how we were going to survive once we left the Circuit. Unlike with us, all of the important pieces were in place long before we ever fell in love."

Like the fact they were both seeking a way out of the life. That had been a powerful uniting force in the early days. The rest had come over time as they'd gotten to know each other. It hadn't hurt both he and Angela were far too young and idealistic to be afraid of anything. They'd had their convictions and, eventually, their love to start them on their wat. The healthy check Angela's mother had slipped her under the table along with the knowledge they could crawl home if they couldn't survive had further empowered them to take on the world.

They hadn't been a couple of battle weary warriors still fighting the war.

"So you're saying you're no better at this whole relationship thing than I am." Lisbon cut to the chase. "I'm not sure that makes me feel better."

"It's not supposed to." Jane stated. "I'm just being honest. However, in case you've forgotten, I did have a few good years in there."

He had, too.

He and Angela had seemed charmed from the start. They hadn't had to crawl home even once. Thanks to the lessons in good showmanship he'd learned from his father and Barlow, it hadn't taken all that long to build up a loyal clientele. He'd done it fast enough they'd never had to cash that generous check and sent it back to his mother-in-law a few months after she'd given it to them. That wasn't to say everything had been all sunshine and roses between them. They'd had their rough spots like any other couple.

In fact, the last one had been one hell of a doozy…Enough so he'd earned an all expenses paid trip to the nut farm complete with a private padded cell…Fortunately, the experience hadn't been all bad.

Or the aftermath wasn't.

He'd met one Teresa Lisbon not long after his release and the rest was history.

"Yes, you did." Not sure she'd tasted a thing; Lisbon glanced at their empty plates wondering how they'd managed to get anything eaten with all the talking and thinking going on. "You were an excellent husband and father."

"I like to think so." He had been until the end. He could accept that now as he'd finally accepted he wasn't solely responsible for their deaths. Had Red John not been a twisted monster, his taunts wouldn't have driven him to take two innocent lives. He'd have gone after the source of his humiliation instead. "You left out lover."

"Yeah?" Lisbon quirked a brow at him. "I wouldn't know about that now would I?"

"I should think you have a clue." Giving her a look that said he'd be happy to remind her, Jane took a sip of wine before setting his glass aside. "You may find out when your arm heals."

"I may, huh?" Lisbon took the bait. "Sounds interesting."

There wasn't any "may" about it. She was going to find out eventually. But, he meant what he'd said. Their first time wasn't going to be spent focusing more on not causing her pain and less on pleasure. They'd waited this long. They could wait a while longer. Though not that much longer. Jane wasn't a fool.

While he knew Lisbon would wait until he was ready, she wouldn't wait forever. She had needs, too. The woman deserved some normalcy. To know that he could, and would, offer her the real deal when the time was right. He couldn't string her along indefinitely while he put off confronting his issues, concerns, and fears because doing so was uncomfortable. She deserved better than that.

She'd sacrificed the only real shot she'd ever had at the fairy tale to be with him.

He wouldn't let Lisbon down again. Kissing Flynn was his last apology and he meant it. When they crossed that line into true intimacy, forever was just a heartbeat away. It wouldn't be that long before he'd haul her off to some neighboring town to say, "I do" and slip a ring on her finger. Discretely, just the two of them, as they'd both prefer.

That's when the worrying would begin.

When there was something real to protect. He wouldn't fail again. He couldn't and that was the crux of the matter. Of his hesitancy to deepen their relationship as he knew she wanted. It wasn't that he didn't find Lisbon desirable. Or that he didn't crave more than a few stolen kisses. Nor was it a sense of misplaced guilt over the family he'd lost. Not anymore.

It was something entirely different.

It was that being so involved with him put another target on her back when she had enough of those already considering the perps she'd put away over the years. Lisbon wasn't immune to the occasional jail house threat. None of them were. They came with the territory. Those didn't bother him that much. He could handle their run of the mill ex-cons. They both could.

It was the devils masquerading as friends and colleagues that caused him the most unease. The Peterson's watching patiently for that vulnerable moment to strike. Creeps like him were why he was so willing to walk away from Law Enforcement and the disc Abbott held over his head. Unfortunately, Lisbon refused to cooperate even though he was sure he could navigate them through any trouble reneging on his deal with the FBI would surely cause.

However, as Lisbon wasn't having any of that, they were both staying.

But none of that was what bothered him the most. It was not knowing if the highest echelon of the Blake Association still existed or how strong they were if it did. Somehow, he didn't think they'd suddenly disappeared because MacAllister was dead and their lower level cohorts had been rooted and arrested. Not with a compromising disc still in existence. Disbanded for a while maybe. But, given the magnitude of the names encrypted on that piece of plastic, he had no doubts someone had stepped into the void to hold the group together.

There was too much to lose if they hadn't.

His instincts screamed the ghouls were still out there waiting for him to make the first threatening move to reveal themselves. His instincts were rarely wrong. He didn't think they were wrong this time either. Fortunately, Abbott was content to let sleeping dogs lie for the moment and deal with the cases at hand. He wasn't all that eager to discover which of his bosses had gone over to the dark side.

So, for the present, that disc was all but a forgotten memory.

Jane hoped it stayed that way. Now that his life was falling into place, breaking that code was the last thing he wanted to do. Revealing those names wouldn't accomplish anything beyond putting everything he cared about in danger. He seriously doubted they would be able to touch anyone without uphill fight and a lot of unforeseen casualties. He really didn't want to go there. He'd had enough of prolonged battles to last the rest of his life.

"Hey, earth to Jane." Lisbon's disgruntled voice penetrated his thoughts. "You better be thinking about how you're going to make things interesting when my arm heals and not some stupid case."

"I can do better than that." Abandoning his thoughts, Jane moved over to invade Lisbon's personal space before leaning in to kiss her.

While things wouldn't go much farther tonight, they'd gotten quite proficient at heating things up just enough to satisfy both of them without pushing them too far. There was an art to that and they were surprisingly good at it. Not that it really mattered anymore. He didn't think they'd be putting the stops on for that much longer.

He'd intimated that and he expected Lisbon would hold him to it.


	3. Chapter 3

Catching Abbott's eye, Lisbon nodded when he dipped his head discretely in the direction of the back patio. Giving the nauseating scene before her one last disgusted look, she headed through the sliding glass doors and followed the wooden path. It didn't take that long to find Jane standing at the end of the dock staring sightlessly into the roiling waves beyond. Catching the look in his eyes, she could hear Cho's favorite four letter obscenity echoing through her mind.

"Jane?" Lisbon reached out to touch his arm. "Are you okay?"

He didn't look it.

"No, but I knew this was coming." He said quietly. "So I'll handle it."

Just give him a minute.

"Are you sure?" Wrapping her arms around him, Lisbon pulled him as close as she dared. "And I think you're wrong. None of us knew this was coming."

"We should have." Jane's voice was a little stronger. "I should have. It's in the book."

"Yes, it is." Lisbon agreed. "But, that didn't mean he was going to choose this kill. He's been skipping around picking his flavor of the day. There was no way to predict he'd pick this one or he'd do it in this place."

"He's been biding his time, My Dear." Jane corrected her theory. "Biding his time and practicing…Working his way up to the more difficult kills…To getting competent enough to draw us into the game…."

"You don't believe that." Lisbon was vaguely horrified by his words. "It's too calculating."

"I damned well do." Jane stated firmly. "However, that isn't my wife and daughter." His head bobbed back in the direction of the house.

No matter how closely those bodies might resemble them right down to the smiley face, blood stained toe nails, and sweetly scented child's shampoo.

"No, it isn't." Lisbon stood on her tips toes to reach his ear. "And the monster slaughtering them isn't Red John."

She caught his agreeing nod.

"Lisbon," Jane rested his hand on her cheek reassuringly. "I'm okay."

"That's why you're shaking like a leaf." She called him on his lie. "Don't bullshit me."

"I'm not." Jane defended. "It's cold out here and I left my heavy coat in the car."

"That's why you were tossing your cookies before I joined you." Lisbon said quietly. "Because you were cold?"

"What do you want me to say?" Jane asked. "I wasn't tossing anything since there wasn't anything to toss…But, that doesn't mean I didn't try."

"That whole scene was a lot to take in." Lisbon admitted. "I wasn't expecting it. I don't think anyone was."

"I was." Jane closed his eyes. "Maybe not today; but, at some point…."

Hearing his voice trail off, Lisbon allowed herself to get lost in the silence. While she hadn't seen the original crime scene until long after the fact, she had studied the photographs enough times to know their Perp had come as close to recreating the horror as was humanly possible with a different house and bodies. As shaken as she'd been stepping into that room, the affects had to have been a hundred times worse for Jane. Even if he'd suspected what they were walking into which she honestly hadn't.

"I'm sorry, maybe I should have." She touched his cheek. "But, I didn't…You do realize he could be in law enforcement or a related field?" Lisbon rambled quietly. "Or, he could be John Q. Public. It isn't like the author didn't make the talk show circuit or that text isn't available to anyone willing to fork out the dough to pay for it."

That text on serial killers wasn't your standard "True Crime" sensationalist paperback and the three figured price tag proved it.

"Too bad we can't get a record of everyone buying it." Jane said quietly. "Especially off the internet."

"How would it help if we could?" Lisbon asked. "It's become standard reading for a lot of Criminology and Abnormal Psychology classes over the past two years. Professors don't care where their students get their texts as long as they come to class prepared."

"You have a point there." Jane agreed. "Maybe we need to start with some of the professors and guest lecturers using that book as a source. Begin with California and move to other states."

"The first killing was in New Mexico." Lisbon reminded him. "Not here."

She motioned around her grateful that while they were in California, they were nowhere near Malibu.

"But the last killing was directed at me." Jane corrected her. "I suspect our Perp has been steadily working towards getting us tangled up in this case since the beginning."

"The FBI in general?" Lisbon asked. "Or our Unit in particular?"

"Us." Jane repeated. "As in you and me…You're forgetting the kill before this one bore undeniable shades of Volker."

Lisbon visibly cringed at his veiled reference to the autoerotic killing of a young secretary. While she'd noted the similarities between Volker's M.O. and their killer, she'd quickly dismissed them as a sloppy copy cat that wasn't really even that. Unlike her former nemesis, this freak had had consensual sex with his victim before choking her to death in the throes of passion with the scarf he'd restrained her with. Unfortunately, he hadn't left any bodily fluids behind to help with Forensics. Bodily fluids or anything else. While she wouldn't put such antics beyond Volker, she knew Tommy was still safely jailed where he'd remain until the system saw fit to forfeit his life or he died of natural causes.

"I ignored the similarities since there was no way Volker could have done it." Lisbon admitted. "He wasn't relevant once we determined the killer was a copy cat."

"That may not be true if our suspect has had contact with Volker." Jane gently reminded her. "If that's true, Thomas might be very relevant."

Relevant enough they'd need to pay him a visit.

"I'll text Wiley to get a copy of Volker's Visitor Log for the entire time he's been incarcerated." Pulling out her phone, Lisbon did just that as she continued talking. "Maybe we'll catch a break."

"I seriously doubt our perp was visiting Tommy in jail." Jane mused watching her. "He'd have to know that Log would be one of the first places we'd look."

"Maybe." Lisbon hit the send button on her phone. "Or maybe he's too stupid to realize we'd think of that."

"He isn't; but, it's worth a try." Jane ran his hand lightly over her back. "Maybe he's just arrogant enough to think we won't be able to pick his name from the list." Closing his eyes, he dropped a kiss on her forehead. "From what I understand, Volker gets a lot of visitors." Jane commented as he stepped back breaking Lisbon's embrace.

They'd clung together just long enough for anyone watching to see she was comforting him in the usual manner. It was nothing they hadn't seen numerous times before. Nor was the reassuring kiss he'd just dropped on her forehead unusual. However, were they to continue embracing much longer or stronger, they'd give that elusive "them" something to talk about. Lisbon wouldn't be very happy if they did.

"I've heard a few of those visits are conjugal." Lisbon shuddered at the thought. "I guess money talks even behind bars."

"Do either of those things really surprise you?" Jane asked. "Volker is both very handsome and very rich and our justice system isn't incorruptible."

"No, it doesn't surprise me." Lisbon stuck her hands in her back pockets and gazed at him from beneath her lashes. "But, that doesn't mean I have to like it."

Or even be able to fathom any woman willing letting that sadistic bastard insert any part of his body into hers.

"Neither of us do." Jane agreed. "But there isn't anything we can do about."

Except ensure he stayed behind bars.

"That doesn't make me feel better." Lisbon reluctantly confessed. "As much as I hate to say it, there's still an occasional night I lose sleep thinking about him."

It didn't matter it had been years since she'd put Volker away or that she was living several states away from where he was incarcerated. Word got to her through certain channels every time he launched another appeal. So far, Volker's efforts had been in vain. However, that didn't mean a different judge and a different angle might not yield different results. That he would never walk a free man. Anything was possible when you were talking about a powerful figure as slippery as Thomas Volker. The man still had friends in high places who hadn't turned their backs on him.

She was as sure of that as she was, if Volker ever walked, he'd come gunning for her.

If that ever happened, she'd be in serious trouble. She wasn't even sure Jane could save her. There had always been a terrifying sexual component to Volker's torment of her. One that said he'd do a whole lot more than hurt her before he was done if he got the chance. He'd make her pay in ways nightmares were made of. She was so sure of that she'd made it her business to keep tabs on where the man was and what he was doing. She didn't intend to have any nasty surprises.

Not where that psychopath was concerned.

"That's as it should be." Jane rubbed her arm thinking it was just four short weeks since she'd been shot. "It means you recognize the threat he still poses if he ever gets out. While that's a good thing, don't worry your pretty little head too much about it. He won't get to you if he does."

As aware as Lisbon was that Volker would come after her if given half a chance, he had his own fail safes in place to ensure that never happened.

"I'm not going to ask what that's supposed to mean." Lisbon gave him a dirty look aimed more at his "pretty little head" comment than any real disappointment Jane wasn't more forthcoming on his somewhat ambiguous words. She trusted him implicitly when it came to protecting her. Beyond that, she didn't want to know. Jane still had a tendency to do things she didn't find acceptable under certain circumstances. Especially when they involved keeping her safe. "I am going to say we need to get back inside before someone starts to talk."

"Lisbon, we're in plain sight." Jane reminded her. "Anyone trying to stir anything up is just blowing hot air."

"I know." She agreed. "But Abbott probably needs us about now."

"I'm sure he does." Placing his hand on her arm, Jane guided Lisbon over a spot of uneven ground. "Cho should be done taking pictures and Vega is most likely all but hopping on one foot waiting to be told what to do next. That's usually my cue to do the Jane thing."

"Do the Jane Thing?" While she might have said that a time or two over the years, she'd never heard Jane speak of his ability to see the subtleties everyone else missed in such a way. "Where did that come from?"

"Isn't that what you said to Sheriff Harvey a couple of weeks ago?" Jane's brow rose in query. "He's doing the Jane Thing?"

"Maybe." Lisbon hedged. "I didn't think you heard that. The man was getting on my last nerve questioning your every move. I had to say something before I did something I'd regret."

Like pour her steaming cup of coffee over his head.

"You handled yourself admirably." Jane stopped for a moment to take a deep breath. "The man was a pompous jackass."

"Yes, he was." Lisbon suddenly noticed the strain around his eyes. "Can you handle this?"

"What do you think?" Jane didn't expect an answer. "That isn't my wife and daughter in there." He repeated his words from earlier.

"No, it isn't." Lisbon agreed. "But, that doesn't mean it isn't painful."

"The only thing painful about this situation is an innocent woman and child lost their lives needlessly." Turning to her, Jane's demeanor silenced any further commentary. "Other than that, we have a job to do."

Nodding her support, Lisbon followed Jane back inside the beautiful contemporary house that had once been a happy home.

#

Watching Jane pour a stiff Bourbon, Lisbon wasn't all that surprised he wanted to nurse something stronger than wine tonight. They'd had a rough day by anyone's standards. Rough enough she'd love to join Jane in something equally relaxing just not Bourbon. But, she wouldn't. She'd have a soft drink, some juice, or tea instead. Whatever was in the fridge. Jane would be fine drinking without her.

Not that he'd drink that much. He never did. Just nurse his glass as he usually did. Neither of them really qualified as social drinkers although they weren't averse to having a glass, occasionally two, of wine with dinner. However, she never drank when she felt she needed to. That was a habit she never got into and Jane respected her feelings on the matter. She'd learned that rule from her father. If he'd followed it, he wouldn't have ended up the way he did and his kids wouldn't have gone through the hell they had.

"Make yourself at home." Jane said unnecessarily. "There's tea and that fizzy water you like in the fridge."

"What kind?" Lisbon asked as she took a glass down from the cabinet and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. "Lemon-lime?"

"Does it matter?" Jane asked. "It's carbonated water with citrus tossed in."

"You're in a mood aren't you?" Lisbon said quietly as she poured the tangerine flavored water over ice. "One I'm not sure I like."

"I'm not in a mood." Jane said equally quietly. "I'm preoccupied."

"With what?" Lisbon asked as she turned to face him glass in hand.

"This." He extended his hand in her direction.

Jane watched Lisbon gaze hesitantly at his hand before reaching out to follow his silent command. Lightly gripping his wrist, she drew the ring from his finger not surprised when he used the same hand to gently curve her fingers around it. Bringing her fist to rest against her heart, she blinked at him several times unsure how to respond to the hard circle pressing against her palm. Whatever this was, it wasn't like any of the other times he'd slipped that ring from his finger. For one thing, they weren't at her place. For another, he hadn't done the slipping as he usually did.

"That's yours now." Jane's voice was strong. "Do whatever you want with it."

Slightly stunned, Lisbon nodded not at all concerned this was going to out them like nothing else ever could.

"How about we leave it here for now?" Opening her palm she reverently deposited the band in a small crystal dish setting on the table behind her. "I'll take it home and put it in the safe later."

"Sounds like a plan." Gazing into her eyes, he bluntly stated what had haunted him all day. "I can't see them anymore."

"You can't see who anymore?" She was clearly confused.

"Not like I used to." Jane continued seeing the light suddenly go on in her eyes. "Not when I close my eyes and not when I looked at those bodies earlier today."

That was what had really knocked him for that loop…The fact he hadn't seen what he expected to see.

"That doesn't mean anything." Lisbon reassured him. "Memories get fuzzy over the years. You know that."

"It means everything." Jane stated firmly dismissing her platitudes. "When I can't see Angela's face for seeing yours, I'd say it's time to move on."

Head snapping to attention, Lisbon's last sensible thought was Jane couldn't possibly be intimating what she thought he was.


	4. Chapter 4

A Fairly Important A/N Correcting a Fairly Big Mistake:

First off, I want to thank all of you for the kind reviews. I'm finally over the month long creeping crud so I'll start responding as I should.

Now, I need to address the error. I failed to delete a paragraph or two at the end of Chapter Three which shouldn't have been there. They're gone now. If you read the chapter the first night/day it was posted, it now ends differently. Sorry for the mistake.

As for the whole "are they/aren't they" perspective, I'm continuing this story the way I started. It's AU which means they aren't - not yet.

As for what I really think, after the last couple of episodes, I'm in the "they are" camp as much as I hate to say it. But, that darned ring still bugs me. Considering it's always on Jane's finger even when they're pulling a con where Lisbon is supposedly his woman, I'd say he hasn't removed it since they got together and I have a hard time accepting Lisbon (or any woman) saying, "Oh, fine, you can keep your dead wife's wedding ring on while we make love." However, given the uniqueness of their relationship, I can't say she wouldn't either.

Oh, well, it's those kinds of subtleties that make for interesting writing fodder. ~Calla

#

Blinking stupidly, Lisbon's mind went into overdrive.

Jane had to know he'd stunned her with that statement.

Actually, he'd knocked her on her rear…However, that didn't mean she was going with the flow and jumping at what he was offering…Not going to happen…Saying they'd had an unpleasant couple of days was an understatement…It was dejà vu nasty with shades of demented Sheriffs and malevolent toadies hiding around every corner…Not the best climate for encouraging intimacies in her opinion.

For making foolish, emotion-driven mistakes, hell yeah, she could see that coming all day… night…long.

If all of that cheeriness wasn't enough to curtail any amorous pursuits, she was physically and emotionally drained as well. The only reason she was here instead of eyeball deep in bubbles and boiling water was to reassure herself Jane was truly okay. While that was debatable, he appeared to be doing better than she was. He wasn't as depleted anyway.

Maybe, unlike her, he hadn't been giving lip service when he said he'd anticipated something way off key.

She certainly hadn't expected to fly into Southern California a couple of days ago to consult on an Interstate Commerce case only to be met with a replay of the Jane Family Murder_…_Talk about freaky coincidences that weren't coincidental at all…She so wasn't going there…Add in the strain of flying back a few hours later because someone was acting like the resident ass and you got a monumental case of jet lag.

She still wanted to slap Jane stupid over that one.

It hadn't been necessary for him to revert back to his most obnoxious persona. The one making her want to throttle him more often than not in the old days. But, he had and he'd done it with a vengeance. It seemed once he'd seen all he needed to see, he wasn't staying a moment longer than he had to and he'd made sure Dennis knew it. The rest of the team could tie up any loose ends and shoot them to Austin via the Internet. He had things to do back at the office. Choosing his battle wisely, Abbott hadn't tried to stop them from leaving. He'd merely nodded and let her know the team would be back in a day or two. They had a couple of potential leads to check out.

Besides, he gently reminded her, they were far more likely to solve one, or both, cases due to whatever scheme Jane was cooking up than any piece of the puzzle they stumbled on here in California.

Exasperated with her almost-lover's behavior, Lisbon had followed her boss's lead although she'd left Jane at the office soon after they'd arrived. It made more sense going home to clear her head than hanging out at her desk staring into empty space. It wasn't like the someone who was stepping on her last nerve couldn't find his way to the RV Park like he always did. Besides, Mr. Happy Britches needed to brood in private and she needed to rest. So, she'd done what any self respecting woman would and taken a few hours of solitary down time like she hadn't since their "relationship" began. However, she'd eventually had enough of a good thing and come over expecting to be the strong shoulder she'd been so many times in the past.

It seemed Jane was in a different mindset…One giving him ideas that were questionable at best.

Deciding she really didn't want to deal with any of this, Lisbon chose to break her rule and have that much needed drink instead. It wasn't like one or two sips would really hurt anything as long as she didn't make a habit of it. Somewhere in the back of her mind she was sure her Dad had probably had a similar thought at one time. Look where it had gotten him. But, then again, she hadn't recently lost a spouse, wasn't faced with raising four young children on her own and, most importantly, she wasn't weak like her father.

She was, however, seriously considering offing her not-quite-lover.

Grabbing a glass from the cabinet, Lisbon poured a measure of Bourbon and took a sip making her usual face. She didn't care for the stuff. Really, really didn't. Give her a beer any day. However, in this instance, that was a fact in her favor. While she could drink enough to take the edge off her anger while knowing she couldn't tolerate the taste enough to get seriously lit as she wanted to.

Catching Lisbon's grimace, Jane reached into the cabinet over her head to remove an unopened bottle with an unfamiliar label. Pouring a generous couple of fingers in a proper glass, he offered it to her instead. Setting the Bourbon aside, she accepted the glass and took a sip. This wasn't their usual poison meant to be tossed back with lime and salt, it was an expensive sipping Tequila meant to be savored instead.

"That's better." She carried her glass over to the galley before sliding comfortably onto the bench. "I didn't know you had that."

"You weren't supposed to." Jane sat across the table from her on the opposite bench. "I was saving it for a time like this."

"Okay." Lisbon reached out to touch his hand. "I don't know what to say."

Beyond she wasn't ready for whatever he had in mind.

She hadn't even told him she loved him yet. Not that she didn't, she did. It was just a whole lot harder to actually say the words than she thought it would be. That and the moment had to be right. It wasn't that she didn't want to or she didn't think he'd like to hear them. It was more that saying the words out loud would make them real.

The words and the "them."

She wasn't sure she was ready for that…Other than a couple of overprotective stunts she'd taken him to task for, the fantasy was going well…Perhaps a little too well to mess with.

"Don't say anything." Jane twirled his glass. "We don't have to move on yet. I just thought you should know there aren't any ghosts between us when we do."

"That's nice to know." Lisbon stared at his bare finger knowing his earlier gesture changed everything. "Since that's going to out us like nothing else will."

She nodded at his hand.

While she'd appreciated his willingness to remove his wedding band in private, she'd known he still wore it in his heart even if his finger was bare. His eagerness to return the band to its rightful place at the end of their evening was hard to miss. She knew it wasn't because he was afraid he'd forget and their secret would get sprung. It had nothing to do with any of that considering she was the one who wanted their relationship to remain a secret. Jane couldn't care less who knew they were together. It had a whole lot more to do with the reality that, while he wanted his present, he wasn't quite ready to let go of his past. While none of that was a deal breaker, somewhere deep inside some part of her resented being forced to share him with the other woman and the rest of her resented the fact she felt bad for resenting a ghost. Neither were comfortable feelings. It looked like all of that might have recently changed for the better.

"I'm not the one who wanted to keep us secret." Jane gently reminded her. "So I don't mind if it does. Besides, you don't believe our co-workers don't suspect I'm the reason you didn't marry Marcus? You're smarter than that and so are they. I don't think this," He wiggled his ring finger. "Will surprise anyone."

"You may be right." Lisbon agreed. "I'm not sure how I feel about that."

"It's been long enough we aren't disrespecting Pike." Jane rubbed her hand reassuringly. "I can't say there won't be some nasty whisper. There probably will be; but, it isn't like anyone can accuse us of slipping around behind his back with any credibility. They know better. The two of you were always together so it isn't like we had opportunity had we ever wanted to. Besides, I think people know you better than that."

"Maybe they can't; but, they can say equally hurtful things like I shouldn't have gotten involved with Marcus in the first place and they'd be right." Lisbon absently entwined her fingers with his. "Not knowing how I felt about you."

"I'm not sure you did." Jane observed. "Know how you felt about me. Not really. Not until you were in too deep and realized choosing Pike meant losing me."

Glancing up, Lisbon wasn't sure he wasn't right.

While she'd happily let Marcus sweep her along for the ride, some part of her had known happily ever after required more than they had. Shared interests, fuzzy feelings, and a healthy sex life wasn't enough to keep the love light burning. Not when some vital spark was missing. However, knowing that and knowing what to do about it were two different things. In the end, she'd instinctively done what she'd done so several times over the years. She'd begged for Jane's interference without saying a word.

He hadn't let her down even if he'd waited until the eleventh hour to halt the biggest mistake of her life.

"I think you're right." Lisbon agreed. "That doesn't make what we did right so I guess we deserve those whispers."

"Perhaps, but don't let it bother you. We'll get through it like we always do." Jane agreed. "Besides, Marcus is a big boy. He decided to go after you even knowing there was something between us. He chose to play the game and he lost."

"There wasn't anything between us." Lisbon gave him a look clearly conveying if there had been she wouldn't have gone out with the other man. "And this isn't a game."

"No, it isn't." Jane agreed. "Love never is."

But, while he was wise enough not to remind Lisbon there'd been _something_ between them for a very long time, Jane silently acknowledged winning her affections had been a very intricate game he hadn't initially realized he was playing. From that first snippy "Mr. Jane" to working their way through Lorelei to two years of contemplation and a long awaited reunion to the very moment he'd concluded he damned well wasn't losing his Lisbon to the likes of one Marcus Pike, their relationship had been a complex game of monumental wins and losses. As the years rolled by and his feelings changed, he'd known he would lose in the end. But, he hadn't quit the fight. Some part of him had dared hope things would end differently and, mercifully, they had.

He was getting that last chance he never expected to have. The one he wasn't about to mess up now. Not when he was so close to winning the prize even if it meant exposing every one of his vulnerabilities.

"No, it isn't." Lisbon twirled her glass thinking that was as close to telling Jane she loved him as she'd come and it wasn't really fair considering he'd already said the words.

"But, it's still fun." Jane forced her to look at him. "And we're keeping it that way."

"Yeah, we are." Lisbon knew he was letting her off the hook for not being able to say what she felt and he was letting himself off the hook for his recent missteps which was fine by her.

They'd already had a couple of serious run-ins connected to Jane's over protectiveness and he was making an effort to do better. She knew that; but, knowing it didn't necessarily make dealing with him any easier. Just as she was struggling with actually saying the words, he was struggling to overcome his fear of losing her and of history repeating itself right before his eyes.

As irrational as her fears were considering Jane had already said the words, his were just as off base. Considering he'd always known exactly who she was: a cop in some form or another and who she wasn't: his defenseless late wife, his fears were unfounded. She'd proven she could take care of herself over and over again. While that was true for the most part, Lisbon conveniently refused to recall the few times she'd have been toast if Jane hadn't been there. If she did, she'd have to admit he had some grounds for his feelings and that would open a whole new can of words. As it was, they were both tacitly agreeing to let some sleeping dogs lie.

"Good." Rising to his feet, Jane poured a little more Tequila in her glass before resuming his seat. "Drink up."

"Trying to get me drunk?" Lisbon quirked a brow at him.

"Maybe." Jane smirked knowing it would take more than the equivalent of a couple of shots of Tequila to do Lisbon in and she'd stop long before that. "What do you think?"

"It's not gonna work." She smirked back. "But I'll let you try."

Lifting her glass to her lips, Lisbon decided that nice long soak in a tub full of bubbles wasn't nearly as appealing as spending time with Jane.


End file.
